On the sag bus

When I signed up for AIDS/LifeCycle 7 I had my heart set on riding every single mile from SF to LA. I did it my first year, and I wanted to prove to myself I could do it again after spending much of my second year sick.

Despite a foot injury and knee problems, I was holding up pretty well. Even with a case of bronchitis, I made it through the entire day yesterday, though coughing the entire way.

Another sleepless night of coughing got the better of me and I had to sag out today in and I hope with the rest and antibiotics I will be able to ride the final 65 miles to Los Angeles.

I know the ride is not about riding every single mile, but I feel like I've brokena promise I made to the friends, family, and coworkers who sponsored me and more importantly to everyone living with HIV and AIDS who I help by riding.

I broke down in camp this morning crying when Walter (my roommate) asked if I was feeling well enough to ride and I had to tell him I couldn't.

With illness and sleep deprivation, I've lost that feeling of being part of a community working for a larger goal, and on the bus I can't even cheer on rider's from the sidelines.

I really hope I'll be well enough to ride across the finish line in LA tomorrow.